A Fully Funded Mustard Seed

My family has lived off of financial support from individuals and churches ever since I was born. I have seen God provide for my family countless times, especially with our most recent financial needs for our adoption.

Despite having this background in trusting God for money, raising funds for my own mission work seemed quite daunting to me.

No longer was I doing mission work under the shelter of my family's finances or their fundraising. This time it was up to me to be the one with the faith that was necessary to move the mountain of dollar bills that added up to $5,000.

It wasn't that hard at first. I prayed over every envelope that I mailed out asking for support and diligently began my fundraising almost immediately after finding out that I was accepted into the Pathways Internship.  I didn't even break a sweat when the first financial deadline of $2,000 came and went. I wrote thank-you notes and praised God and continued to pray, knowing God would be faithful.

Months later I still knew He would be faithful. But the physical evidence of this depleted greatly during April and May. This seemed a great problem to me as the financial deadline was fast approaching and in less than two months I still had close to $2,000 to raise. My first car cost close to $2,000, how was that hurdle going to be overcome in only six weeks?

I prayed. I listened. God said He had something to teach me that was far greater than the lesson I would learn looking at a sum total of $5,000 without batting an eyelash.

I've heard stories about God providing mass sums of money in ridiculously short amounts of time. Logically, this wasn't that much to ask right?

But the glamorous stories of God's miraculous provision seemed far away from my dorm room in Joplin, Missouri, as I swung my legs back and forth on my bed, gazing heavenward and trying to look as angelic as possible as I asked God for the remaining amount. The weeks crept by and I felt more desperate. It wasn't that I thought God couldn't do it but I thought perhaps He wouldn't. Maybe He thought I needed more time with Him in America before venturing overseas. I asked God to help my heart be in the right place; I wanted to be in whatever country would help me learn more about Him. I didn't know what was best but that was okay because God did.

I continued praying and at one point realized that my prayers had changed from requests to something more along the lines of pleading. Why am I begging God to answer my prayers when this need, so big to me, is so small compared to what God COULD do? This realization led to a very uncomfortable moment with the Lord.

"Ask Me for more than $5,000", He said.

Obviously this suggestion was not coming from human reasoning so the only option was to obey. I fasted and prayed, asking for more than what I needed. I praised in advance, even thanking God in my journal for providing what I already needed.

Financial supporters appeared to be coming through the woodwork. People that I hadn't even met sent emails responding to my needs and I was truly blessed by each individual who gave.

Despite this encouragement, I ended up sitting on my couch the night before the final deadline for my internship still with a little over $300 to go. I did believe that God could do it. But my palms were still a little sweaty. I had no doubt by this point that God wanted me in Africa and I would be there this summer. But my prayers wavered a little. I kept reminding myself that God already had the money ready for my internship, I simply did not know where or how it was going to show up (who needs details, right?). I thanked God that to move a financial mountain all that I needed was faith the size of a mustard seed. Because, unfortunately, I felt I wasn't bringing much more than that into His throne room that night.

And then...He did it! And yes, it was even more than $5,000.

You guessed how my story ends not because God is predictable but because He is faithful. Would He have been faithful if the money hadn't come through? Yes. Because He is faithful in doing whatever would bring me closer to Him not faithful in giving me whatever I ask for. I have no doubt that God would have done whatever would have helped me learn more about Him. For this summer, He says that I will learn most about Him in Africa and playing with His beautiful children in the dusty streets of Tamale.

God has given me more than what I need because He wants all of us to know that He is not only capable of doing more than we ask or expect but He wants to do more than we ask or expect.

And how does He do more? Through you! Through your prayers and donations, each of you have not just contributed to my summer plans but you have fulfilled many prayers of those who have been praying for God's work in Ghana and His work in my life.

Even if you have just prayed for me once, thank you. I am honored to go to Ghana with so many supporters of sending the Gospel to the ends of the earth. I can tell my new friends in Africa about the love of Jesus that would compel so many of you to dig into your bank accounts.

But your support does not stop here! Each of you have helped me become fully funded and my mustard seed size of faith to grow. Now as I start this new adventure, I need your prayers and encouragement more than ever now.

"Now to Him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to His power that is at work within us, to Him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen". - Ephesians 3:20-21

Remember the Vision

It is the sixth week of school. Papers are piling up almost "as high as Mount Everest", as we Ozark Christian College students say. :) In the midst of tests, reading assignment, projects and fundraising for my internship, I remembered this quote I had written down some time ago. This is especially for those who are weary and need to be reminded of the vision we are working for. 

"Those who catch the vision are ready to follow the Lamb wherever He leads, and as they follow, in the spirit of joyful adventure, their path becomes clear before them and they are given power to fulfill their high calling, They are those who have courage to break through conventionalities, who care not at all what the world thinks of them, because they are entirely taken up with the tremendous reality of Christ."

Let us remember the first time we caught "the vision". How excited we were to give up everything to God, our First Love. The vision is still what we are called to. God is not concerned with good grades or finishing everything on our to-do lists. We are called to simply love Jesus and follow the Lamb. We can do that regardless of how many papers we have, the lists that lay unaccomplished and the amounts of sleep that we get. Jesus has led us here; take a moment to remember the tremendous reality of who we are loving and serving. Let us continue not because we have to, but because we choose to continue because we love Him who loved us first. 

Take heart dear reader; lift up your chin and press forward! God "gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak" (Isaiah 40:29). 

Smiling at the Unknown

I am a worrier. Though it is silly, whenever break begins winding down, I find a bit of dread tugging at my heart when I think of moving back to Missouri and dealing with the changes and challenges that each new semester brings. It's hard not to let my mind dwell on missing my family, friends that have moved or dropped out of school between semester and the familiar surroundings of home. It's hard not to rationalize my pity parties and allow my mind to fixate on the negative. 

This is the pattern of the world; worry and dread. This is "normal". But it is not the pattern of our King. 

I can learn from Paul's life, as he shares how he has "learned to be content in whatever circumstance" (Philippians 4:11). God has already given us everything we need to not only face new seasons but to do so with smiles on our faces. He has empowered us to speak with confidence that we may echo Paul's words, "I know how to get along with humble means, and I also know how to live in prosperity; in any and every circumstance I have learned the secret of being filled and going hungry, both of having abundance and suffering need. I can do all things through Him who strengthens me" (Philippians 4, 11-13). 

When Paul says "I can do all things through Him who strengthens me" he speaks in full confidence that because Christ is the Author of his life, no matter what the next day, week, month or year brings, he can be completely assured that God has enabled him to greet each new season gracefully and joyfully. 

It is now 2014. Let us greet the changes that the new year brings with joy, for we can trust that our King"is able to do far more abundantly beyond all that we ask or think" ~ Ephesians 3:20.

Emptying the Ocean with an Eyedropper

God has been stirring something in my heart.

I just finished listening to the book "Kisses From Katie" during my drive home for Christmas break. The author, Katie Davis, makes a comment that sometimes doing mission work resembles the task of "emptying the ocean with a eyedropper…and every time I get a cupful, it rains". It is hard not to become completely overwhelmed by the sheer number of how many people have not heard the Gospel. Difficult to swallow the unfathomable count of children who daily die of starvation. Nearly impossible not to close my eyes to the amount of orphans in the world.

However, I think there is something even more disturbing disturbing than these statistics. It is that we need statistics to push us into action in the first place.

Let me explain.

I have grown increasingly apathetic to individuals. Most of you have as well. When we think of ministry we judge effectiveness by the number of people being reached or the amount of people being fed. There is nothing inherently wrong in this; good stewardship does involve utilizing the resources God has given to the very best of our abilities. It's natural to want to reach the most with what we have. The problem is when we start seeing the world as composed of statistics instead of individuals.

We have been raised in a generation where we are taught that everyone can make a big difference. One person can have a domino effect and change the world for thousands of others. This is true. In fact, this logic is Biblical and many times God used one person like David, Samuel or Mary to be the redemptive change in their generations.

But there is a danger I see in this, a trap we can easily fall into where we become so caught up in effecting the large numbers of people, of seeing ministry on a large scale, that we lose sight of people themselves. All of the sudden, if we won't get a "significant" result from our efforts, why even bother? If we won't make a big difference then what's the point?

But who are we to determine the worth of our time and resources? What if we have it all backwards and our time and resources aren't worth as much as we think? What if the reality is that if we spent everything we had emotionally, spiritually and physically and just one person was reached, it would all be worth it.

Even the Son of God knew He would not heal every sick person, restore every blind eye, feed every hungry belly, raise up every dead person or touch every bleeding woman. Jesus' world was not made of of statistics. No one was a waste of His time or resources even though this meant that some did not get healed, touched or fed.

Perhaps sometimes we look so far ahead to the big picture that we miss the faces that are in such close proximity to ours.

It's God's job to change to the world. Not ours.

At work I look down at the little girl clinging to my leg. I pick her up. Today is her day.

I drive by Walmart after school and see a homeless woman by the side of the road holding up a cardboard sign. I pull over. Today is her day.

I am washing dishes at the bathroom sink in my dorm when another college student walks by with evidence of tears on her cheeks. I dry my hands. Today is her day.

I apply for an internship in Ghana, praying in advance for the children I will be working with. This summer is their summer.

And someday, I will be walking along the streets of Africa daily and will bend down to kiss a chocolate-colored face. That day will be her day.

"Working with the least of these is not a suggestion. It is a requirement." ~ Katie Davis

And through these days, these moments we empty the ocean, one drop at a time.

Proverbs 14:18

"But the path of the righteous is like the light of dawn, 

that shines brighter and brighter until the full day…"

Feeding Sheep

"And the church's purpose is experience the presence of God..."

And the precious name of Jesus only said twice.

But deeds are spoken of.

The wonders of "the Holy Spirit" are recalled. 

The bravery of Paul the apostle is taught.

And the holy name of Jesus is only said twice.

But we pray at the beginning of church service and to close.

The worship songs proclaim we live our lives for our God.

The pastor picks up the bread and lifts it toward heaven, "We take communion in remembrance". He pulls the bread apart, small crumbs trickle down his sleeve. 

I feel the church's pulse - remembrance of what? They ask with their eyes.

What indeed...

"...And how can they believe in the one of whom they have not heard?..." ~Romans 10:14

We softly brush past other members in the pews to slide into the forming line. Some greet with smiles, some keep their eyes fixed on the bread and grape juice. We reach the elders. 

"This is Jesus' body; it was broken for you. This Jesus' blood; it was spilled for you."

I meet the eyes of an elder, does he know of whom he speaks? 

I sit down, dipped bread in hand. Sinking into the velvet cushion of the pew, I watch the procession going through the motions of communion. Yes, there are some. Some who remember their wedding vows and savor the flavors paid for by a bloody cross. And there are others. Others who look as if they are partaking of a mid-day snack. 

And who can blame them? How are they supposed to know there is any significance to the food placed in their hands? How dare we ask them to take communion and leave out the story of Jesus' sacrifice! How dare we invite them to church without telling them of Jesus. The reason the church exists is not to hand someone a soggy piece of bread dunked in grape juice once a week. The reason the church exists is not to fill up the pews with people who are patient enough to sit through an hour and fifteen minutes of stories of people who were the result of God's grace. What is being preached is completely worthless if these people don't know why any of this matters. How dare we charge people to live lives for God's glory and to do incredible things for Him without equipping them with Jesus! The church exists first and foremost to bring glory to God and secondly to glorify God by bringing people to Him. The church cannot fulfill the very reason it was established if it is not founded by those who know and love Jesus. We cannot give what we don't have. 

Who are we to think we have anything these people need! The only thing needed these people need is Jesus - why are they here? What draws them to this church? What probes them to come, worship, sit and listen? Jesus! We are not giving them the one thing they need. If we cannot provide this one thing for them we are purposeless. There is not one reason for our existence if we cannot provide Jesus.

"When Jesus went ashore, He saw a large crowd, and He felt compassion for them because they were like sheep without a shepherd; and He began to teach them many things. When it was already quite late, His disciples came to Him and said, "This place is desolate and it is already quite late; send them away so that they may go into surrounding countryside and villages and buy themselves something to eat". But He answered them, "You give them something to eat!" ~ Mark 6:34-37

A shepherd's job is to feed the sheep. The people are hungry. Give them something to eat.

Standing as Mount Zion

"Well, that's the last of it..."

I walked back into the little classroom. A once noisy room filled with nap charts, worksheets dripping with wet paint and to-do lists was now clean and quiet. The past few days had been a juggling act between cleaning up classrooms, giving small children goodbye hugs while packing for college and saying goodbyes to my slightly older friends. 

I couldn't help but allow a few memories flood into my head... High-pitched voices yelling "MISS ASHLEEEE!!!!!" as small bodies tackled me every morning when I walked into the classroom. I couldn't help but feel a little sad as I thought of certain kids who came from situations I had no control over, but wish I could change. My eyes mist a little for a young girl who sat in my lap almost as much as our time-out chair. My eyes quickly dried as I recalled the many reason why she was in time-out in the first place. Despite all the challenges that came with assistant teaching, I knew that I would miss the little people I had invested 45 hours of my life into every week this summer. Things are going so well, why do they have to change? Couldn't I obey God just as well staying in Ohio as going to school in Missouri? Are these changes necessary?

Change is necessary because it is obedience. God doesn't give me new because He wants to shake my foundation, He gives me new because He wants to remind me that He is my foundation.

The Apostle Paul understood changing circumstances. From shipwrecks to prison, a host of unfortunate events seemed to constantly be oppressing him and changing his situations. Yet he had the privilege of a living faith and experiencing God deeply every moment. His advice? To "count all things to be loss in view of the surpassing value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and count them but rubbish so that I amy gain Christ" (Philippians 3:7-8).

To count it all as loss is to praise every single circumstance because it leads me closer to God. The friends I leave, though I love them, are nothing in comparison to knowing Christ more deeply. My family, the closest and most precious to my heart, do not have the highest priority; Jesus does. I now welcome the new because it is the result of obedience.

My life will always be changing, but God never will. If I am firmly rooted in Jesus, then I cannot be swayed by circumstances.

 "Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today and forever." 

~ Hebrews 13:8 ~

"Those who trust in the LORD are as Mount Zion, which cannot be moved but abides forever. As the mountains surround Jerusalem, so the LORD surrounds His people from this time forth and forever." 

~Psalm 125:1-2~

We are HIS PEOPLE! We cannot be moved but stand as firm as Mount Zion.