Emptying the Ocean with an Eyedropper

God has been stirring something in my heart.

I just finished listening to the book "Kisses From Katie" during my drive home for Christmas break. The author, Katie Davis, makes a comment that sometimes doing mission work resembles the task of "emptying the ocean with a eyedropper…and every time I get a cupful, it rains". It is hard not to become completely overwhelmed by the sheer number of how many people have not heard the Gospel. Difficult to swallow the unfathomable count of children who daily die of starvation. Nearly impossible not to close my eyes to the amount of orphans in the world.

However, I think there is something even more disturbing disturbing than these statistics. It is that we need statistics to push us into action in the first place.

Let me explain.

I have grown increasingly apathetic to individuals. Most of you have as well. When we think of ministry we judge effectiveness by the number of people being reached or the amount of people being fed. There is nothing inherently wrong in this; good stewardship does involve utilizing the resources God has given to the very best of our abilities. It's natural to want to reach the most with what we have. The problem is when we start seeing the world as composed of statistics instead of individuals.

We have been raised in a generation where we are taught that everyone can make a big difference. One person can have a domino effect and change the world for thousands of others. This is true. In fact, this logic is Biblical and many times God used one person like David, Samuel or Mary to be the redemptive change in their generations.

But there is a danger I see in this, a trap we can easily fall into where we become so caught up in effecting the large numbers of people, of seeing ministry on a large scale, that we lose sight of people themselves. All of the sudden, if we won't get a "significant" result from our efforts, why even bother? If we won't make a big difference then what's the point?

But who are we to determine the worth of our time and resources? What if we have it all backwards and our time and resources aren't worth as much as we think? What if the reality is that if we spent everything we had emotionally, spiritually and physically and just one person was reached, it would all be worth it.

Even the Son of God knew He would not heal every sick person, restore every blind eye, feed every hungry belly, raise up every dead person or touch every bleeding woman. Jesus' world was not made of of statistics. No one was a waste of His time or resources even though this meant that some did not get healed, touched or fed.

Perhaps sometimes we look so far ahead to the big picture that we miss the faces that are in such close proximity to ours.

It's God's job to change to the world. Not ours.

At work I look down at the little girl clinging to my leg. I pick her up. Today is her day.

I drive by Walmart after school and see a homeless woman by the side of the road holding up a cardboard sign. I pull over. Today is her day.

I am washing dishes at the bathroom sink in my dorm when another college student walks by with evidence of tears on her cheeks. I dry my hands. Today is her day.

I apply for an internship in Ghana, praying in advance for the children I will be working with. This summer is their summer.

And someday, I will be walking along the streets of Africa daily and will bend down to kiss a chocolate-colored face. That day will be her day.

"Working with the least of these is not a suggestion. It is a requirement." ~ Katie Davis

And through these days, these moments we empty the ocean, one drop at a time.

Proverbs 14:18

"But the path of the righteous is like the light of dawn, 

that shines brighter and brighter until the full day…"

Feeding Sheep

"And the church's purpose is experience the presence of God..."

And the precious name of Jesus only said twice.

But deeds are spoken of.

The wonders of "the Holy Spirit" are recalled. 

The bravery of Paul the apostle is taught.

And the holy name of Jesus is only said twice.

But we pray at the beginning of church service and to close.

The worship songs proclaim we live our lives for our God.

The pastor picks up the bread and lifts it toward heaven, "We take communion in remembrance". He pulls the bread apart, small crumbs trickle down his sleeve. 

I feel the church's pulse - remembrance of what? They ask with their eyes.

What indeed...

"...And how can they believe in the one of whom they have not heard?..." ~Romans 10:14

We softly brush past other members in the pews to slide into the forming line. Some greet with smiles, some keep their eyes fixed on the bread and grape juice. We reach the elders. 

"This is Jesus' body; it was broken for you. This Jesus' blood; it was spilled for you."

I meet the eyes of an elder, does he know of whom he speaks? 

I sit down, dipped bread in hand. Sinking into the velvet cushion of the pew, I watch the procession going through the motions of communion. Yes, there are some. Some who remember their wedding vows and savor the flavors paid for by a bloody cross. And there are others. Others who look as if they are partaking of a mid-day snack. 

And who can blame them? How are they supposed to know there is any significance to the food placed in their hands? How dare we ask them to take communion and leave out the story of Jesus' sacrifice! How dare we invite them to church without telling them of Jesus. The reason the church exists is not to hand someone a soggy piece of bread dunked in grape juice once a week. The reason the church exists is not to fill up the pews with people who are patient enough to sit through an hour and fifteen minutes of stories of people who were the result of God's grace. What is being preached is completely worthless if these people don't know why any of this matters. How dare we charge people to live lives for God's glory and to do incredible things for Him without equipping them with Jesus! The church exists first and foremost to bring glory to God and secondly to glorify God by bringing people to Him. The church cannot fulfill the very reason it was established if it is not founded by those who know and love Jesus. We cannot give what we don't have. 

Who are we to think we have anything these people need! The only thing needed these people need is Jesus - why are they here? What draws them to this church? What probes them to come, worship, sit and listen? Jesus! We are not giving them the one thing they need. If we cannot provide this one thing for them we are purposeless. There is not one reason for our existence if we cannot provide Jesus.

"When Jesus went ashore, He saw a large crowd, and He felt compassion for them because they were like sheep without a shepherd; and He began to teach them many things. When it was already quite late, His disciples came to Him and said, "This place is desolate and it is already quite late; send them away so that they may go into surrounding countryside and villages and buy themselves something to eat". But He answered them, "You give them something to eat!" ~ Mark 6:34-37

A shepherd's job is to feed the sheep. The people are hungry. Give them something to eat.

Standing as Mount Zion

"Well, that's the last of it..."

I walked back into the little classroom. A once noisy room filled with nap charts, worksheets dripping with wet paint and to-do lists was now clean and quiet. The past few days had been a juggling act between cleaning up classrooms, giving small children goodbye hugs while packing for college and saying goodbyes to my slightly older friends. 

I couldn't help but allow a few memories flood into my head... High-pitched voices yelling "MISS ASHLEEEE!!!!!" as small bodies tackled me every morning when I walked into the classroom. I couldn't help but feel a little sad as I thought of certain kids who came from situations I had no control over, but wish I could change. My eyes mist a little for a young girl who sat in my lap almost as much as our time-out chair. My eyes quickly dried as I recalled the many reason why she was in time-out in the first place. Despite all the challenges that came with assistant teaching, I knew that I would miss the little people I had invested 45 hours of my life into every week this summer. Things are going so well, why do they have to change? Couldn't I obey God just as well staying in Ohio as going to school in Missouri? Are these changes necessary?

Change is necessary because it is obedience. God doesn't give me new because He wants to shake my foundation, He gives me new because He wants to remind me that He is my foundation.

The Apostle Paul understood changing circumstances. From shipwrecks to prison, a host of unfortunate events seemed to constantly be oppressing him and changing his situations. Yet he had the privilege of a living faith and experiencing God deeply every moment. His advice? To "count all things to be loss in view of the surpassing value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and count them but rubbish so that I amy gain Christ" (Philippians 3:7-8).

To count it all as loss is to praise every single circumstance because it leads me closer to God. The friends I leave, though I love them, are nothing in comparison to knowing Christ more deeply. My family, the closest and most precious to my heart, do not have the highest priority; Jesus does. I now welcome the new because it is the result of obedience.

My life will always be changing, but God never will. If I am firmly rooted in Jesus, then I cannot be swayed by circumstances.

 "Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today and forever." 

~ Hebrews 13:8 ~

"Those who trust in the LORD are as Mount Zion, which cannot be moved but abides forever. As the mountains surround Jerusalem, so the LORD surrounds His people from this time forth and forever." 

~Psalm 125:1-2~

We are HIS PEOPLE! We cannot be moved but stand as firm as Mount Zion.

"Don't dig up in doubt, what you've planted in faith" ~ Elizabeth Elliot

"Your throne, O God, is forever and ever, and the righteous scepter is the scepter of His Kingdom...You, LORD in the beginning laid the foundation of the earth, and the heavens are the works of Your hands; they will perish, but You remain; and they all will become old like a garment, and like a mantle You will roll them up; like a garment they will also be changed. But you are the same, and Your years will not come to an end" ~ Hebrews 1:8, 10-12

Thirsty

The very heavens declare the power of our God and all the earth sings praises to the heart of our Creator. From the peaks of the mountains to the depths of the sea, the work of the Potter's hand shouts, Lord, be glorified!

If the very rocks can cry out for Jesus (Luke 19:40), how much more shall we, those the Father chooses to live through, be crying out for Him?

In such a dusty world we live in, God longs to pour His living water into our dry mouths and down our parched throats. 
He is standing to the side, glass pitcher in hand. 
He watches us. 
Droplets of water accumulate on the bottom of the pitcher. 
He longs to be invited. 
He will come as soon as He is approached with an undivided heart. 

And He waits. 

But many times I don't pay attention to the pierced hands patiently holding the dripping pitcher. I try to praise Jesus through cracked lips, bleeding from thirst. My voice falters, as I gasp for something to sustain me. Jesus looks at me as I feebly praise Him. His heart beats a cry that seeps deep into the soul; child, I want you to have so much more than this! He knows we are thirsty. He knows our thirst can be quenched because that is the core of who He is - He is life. He is the unquenchable life filled with so much power it never grows weary with time but only grows more sweet. He has so much power we can't even comprehend the limitless things He can do in our lives. And not only is He able to give to us but He wants to give beyond our expectations. He wants us to be "filled up to all the fullness of God'' (Ephesians 3:19) - that is the kind of love our God has for us.

Jesus is used to thirsty people. He told one of them, “If you knew the gift of God, and who it is who says to you, ‘Give Me a drink,’ you would have asked Him, and He would have given you living water” (John 4:10).  The word "living" Jesus uses to describe water means many things. in the Greek it is to have true life, to be actively blessed and endless in the kingdom of God, to have vital power, to be in full vigor, fresh, strong efficient and active. 

And all this is ours for the mere asking of it?

If we knew what could be ours, would we ask? 

If we knew what our God is capable of, would we ask?

He is a God "who is able to do far more abundantly beyond all that we ask or think"...  ~Ephesians 3:20

I was reminded this past week that God is not One hindered by human limitations. He is one who is always at work; we cannot trust our tunnel vision to consistently see what our God is doing, but we can trust His word to know He is.  He is One who works in ways our minds cannot comprehend. He works because He loves us. More than that, He works for His glory to be revealed. And He is glorified when His will is accomplished in our lives. 

Come, my friend. Let us drink of this Living Water...that we may never thirst again...that His will may be done in our lives...that the Father may be glorified. 

"to Him be the glory in the church and in Christ Jesus to all generations forever and ever. Amen" ~ Ephesians 3:21

"He will be like a tree firmly planted by streams of water, which yields its fruit in its season and its leaf does not wither; and in whatever he does, he prospers" ~ Psalm 1:3

"If a soul has any beauty, it is because Christ has endowed that soul with His own. For in ourselves we are deformed and defiled! There is no beauty in any of us but what our Lord has worked in us." ~ Charles Spurgeon

Dependence

There is a special sweetness about missionary life that comes from being forced to live completely and utterly dependent on God. In a familiar culture, a quick "fix", whether to meet a physical, emotional or spiritual need, is readily accessible. Independence is not only easy but accepted and encouraged. Not so when you are surrounded by unfamiliar faces and jarring cultural differences nearly every minute of the day. Dependence becomes ingrained into your soul when something as simple as talking becomes a chore and culture misunderstandings throw adventures around almost every curve. God is the only source of emotional fulfillment in a place where someone who speaks the same language is difficult to find, much less a kindred spirit. Though it is challenging at times, it is far more a blessing than a hardship. For it is so sweet to simply trust in Jesus and rely solely on Him for every need.

This kind of living is not just for missionaries. It is a choice - we can choose to live depend on Jesus, even in a place as independent as America. It takes more work and effort, yes - but the results taste just as sweet! We can choose to open our Bibles when we are tired or need a break instead of surfing the internet or watching TV. We can choose to pray before consulting our friends about a hurt or frustration we've experienced. We can choose to ask God for His will instead of using Human reasoning to decide something. We can choose to wake up in the morning and ask God for grace and guidance instead of rolling out of bed and following our own desires.

"Whom have I in heaven but You? And besides You, I desire nothing on earth.
My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever."
~ Psalm 73:25-26 ~

May God be our only portion. May our dependence on Jesus be so strong that we would be stripped of any independence until we truly are nothing without Him and desire nothing of this earth.

Let us echo John the Baptist's cry, "He [Jesus] must increase, but I must decrease"! ~ John 3:30

Independences looks appealing. But it directly collides with the Gospel truth of allowing Jesus Christ to live in us. He cannot act through us if we are constantly oppressing Him by taking the shortcut that gives us more control. How dare we cheapen the very Gospel we proclaim to be living!

"Abide in Me, and I in you",  Jesus commands us, "As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself unless it abides in the vine, so neither can you unless you abide in Me. I am the vine, you are the branches; he who abides in Me and I in him, he bears much fruit, for apart from Me you can do nothing". ~John 15:4-5

We were not created to have the ability to walk the Christian life on our own - it is only through complete dependence on God that we are empowered to live out the Gospel. Not one bit of self must smudge our King's holiness. 

"The Christian life can be explained only in terms of Jesus Christ, and if your life can still be explained in terms of you - your personality, your willpower, your gift, your talent, your money, your courage, your scholarship, your dedication, your sacrifice, or your anything - then, although you may have the Christian life, you are not yet living it" ~ Ian Thomas

“You can never get a cup of tea large enough or a book long enough to suit me.” ~ C.S. Lewis

The Face of God (adoption)

A few months ago my family received a sacred opportunity. Through a series of experiences, God was preparing our hearts to expand our family. My prayer had been that if God wanted us to adopt, He would show us a specific child He wanted in our family. God answered this in a different way than we expected. Shortly after Christmas break my mom found a little girl that all of us were immediately drawn to. Her crooked smile captivated us. Her bright eyes melted our hearts. God taught us about His heart for orphans, how much He loved them. How much He loved her. And we loved her. 

What a blessing it was to see at this precious girl. God is so good! Her face was a peek into God's heart. For two wonderful months she seemed to be ours. Papers were submitted, rooms were cleaned, her pictures were located all over our computers. We loved her. 

Complications arose. Are we willing? They asked us. Are you willing? God asked us. Are we willing? We asked ourselves. Yes, yes, yes - yes Lord, we are willing!

When push came to shove, God made His will abundantly clear. Just as we'd ask. One of the more difficult prayers He has answered. Not this time came His steady voice. She was not to be ours. She went to another family - one that could provide for her in ways we could not. We knew this was right and supernatural peace filled us about the decision. We knew it was from God. It was good. God was still good. 

But the closet was clean and empty. Papers strewn around the desk spoke a different story than when they were feverishly filled out weeks before. Her pictures still stared at us from the computer. We still loved her.

How can you miss someone so much that you haven't even met? 

How can it be so hard to return to a normal existence before a schedule was actually disrupted?

We truly had been willing. Had God asked us to complete the adoption within the hour we would have done so joyfully. He knew we were willing and sometimes all He requires is our willingness. Sometimes all He requires is for us to open our hands and be ready to receive all that He has in store. And we have. And next time when He asks us to finish the adoption process we will gladly - with smiles - open our hands to receive what God chooses to give us. 

God is asking us not to open our hands merely at these moments of decisions. He is calling us to live a lifestyle of surrender - of living with our hands unclenched and our palms facing upward, smiling at the future and happily vulnerable to the next adventure. We are to trust even when we can only see a little of what lies ahead. We are to rest in God even if we can't see anything ahead.



I have not lost a little sister in this experience. Rather, I have recognized one that I already had. God feels so much more strongly about this wonderful little girl than I do. He calls each of us to love each orphan, each child with this relentless love that knows no bounds. This love is not determined by distance, ethnicity or language. This love is unquenchable and is the epitome of vulnerability. How much our Father desires to pour this love - His love - through His people. Looking in my sister's face was truly like staring at the Kingdom of God. Father, may we see each of Your children this way - would we always be looking for and interceding for the Kingdom. Jesus calls us to live lifestyles with open hands, ready to receive whatever He has for the Kingdom's sake, for His Father's glorify, and He asks us readers, are we willing?

"By this everyone will know that you are My disciples, if you love one another" ~ John 13:35

"Place me like a seal over your heart, like a seal on your arm; for love is as strong as death, its jealousy unyielding as the grave. It burns like blazing fire, like a mighty flame. Many water cannot quench love; rivers cannot sweep it away" ~ Song of Songs 8:6-7

Rest...

There is a level of rest that some of us have accepted. Wrongly accepted.  It teaches us that we don't "need" God to give us energy throughout the day - we just go to bed early. It teaches us to take a nap instead of pray for help when we feel tired. It prescribes movies, hanging out with friends, sleeping in and is laced with frequent escapes to media. But what would it look like if we did pray instead of slept for thirty minutes? If our lives were completely led by the Spirit's calling, regardless of how our schedule was altered? What would happen if we stopped looking at our phones or at the time and bent our knees? Jesus never runs out of energy so should we? Regardless of our experience, I think so...

There is a special kind of rest this world cannot produce no matter how hard it tries...It's not natural to be at rest in this world - Christians were not created to be fully at rest here...for our home is not here, it lies in heaven. Until we reach that destination, God has graciously provided rest but only through Jesus Christ. And He calls us to His arms, "come all you who labor and are heavy-laden and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart and you will find rest for your souls. My yoke is easy and My burden is light" (Matthew 11:28-30). We are enslaved to the worries or weariness of this world but we can choose to rest upon Him who "daily bears our burden" (Psalm 68:19). It is possible to escape the heaviness of trials and struggles.

Oswald Chambers said "It is a tremendous freedom to get rid of every kind of self-consideration and learn to care about only one thing - the relationship between our Prince and ourselves."


Oh, what freedom it truly is! What rest there is in living for one purpose only and be stripped of anything that hinders this pursuit! What a gracious God that allows us to live a lifestyle of resting in Him while we are living in this weary world. 


Let this become our lifestyle. A lifestyle of abiding in Jesus. Of choosing joy and not worry. Of submitting to His lordship rather than sin. Of picking up a cross and dying to ourselves moment by moment so we have no care in the world but our relationship with God. God wants us to rest in His arms, but we must follow His supernatural conditions to lead Spirit-filled lives. Having a Spirit-filled life may sometimes lead into the prayer room instead of our beds or a movie. It may be picking up our Bible instead of our phone. Join me in this adventure, dear reader, for the more we pray and exchange all that we are for all that He is, the more we become equipped with supernatural strength. Let us watch God draw near to us as we pursue Him and see what happens as He lives a miraculously energy-filled life through our frail human bodies.


Find rest, o my soul, in God alone!

 ~Psalm 62:1

Seek FIRST His Kingdom...

A dorm can be a humbling place to live. This week especially God has opened my eyes to how selfish I am, especially when it comes to my belongings. My flesh clings pitifully to material things, hoarding what I have and giving into a strong sense of entitlement that urges me to defend myself in situations I feel are unjust. I clench my fist and stomp my feet when an opportunity comes for me to offer my resources. How easily I forget that these possessions are not even mine. In a way I'm actually stealing them from God because I am not allowing Him to do what He wants with His own belongings. This week I've begged God to unclench my fist and take back what is His. I've had to ask Him to change my heart toward others that His life will flow out of me regardless of how I am pricked. I  have begged Him to strip away all selfish that I would not be in agony over petty things. With these request, another struggle surfaced. The sin of focusing so much on asking God to change attributes in myself that I become inwardly drawn, losing sight of my King. How easy it is to be distracted from Jesus even when desiring to be like Him! All God asks me to do is to "seek first His Kingdom and His righteousness" (Matthew 6:33). Yet I insist it must be more difficult. I add to the Christian life complexitites that have never existed. God patiently whispers to me that when my gaze is fixed upon Him "all these things will be given...as well" (Matthew 6:33). When I attempt to change my faults one at a time, not only do I completely miss out on the freedom that springs from the gospel message, but I am left exhausted and frustrated. Psalm 37:4 says, "Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart". I read the book Kisses From Katie over Christmas break and it gave beautiful insight for this verse. When we delight ourselves in the Lord it doesn't mean He gives us whatever we want. He does something even better. He changes our desires so they match His. Then He will give us the new desires of our heart. After reading this book and being inspired by the stories it shared I longed for the characteristics that the missionary had shown - joy, peace, patience, love. It seemed to only feed into the insecurities I already had about the characteristics I desperately lacked. I couldn't wait until I could travel to the mission field and experience the hardships that led to developing these traits. God reminded me then that I don't have to wait to be in the center of His will and experience these things- I can choose to be in the center of His will now by forsaking myself and seeking Him. All the attributes I so desperately seek yet cannot attain without focusing on Jesus can be mine merely by turning to Him. How do I turn to Him? Jesus says "I am the vine, you are the branches, he who abides in Me and I in him, he bears much fruit, for apart from Me you can do nothing..." (John 15:5). I cannot do anything - be patient, kind, loving, gentle, encouraging, self etc. etc. when I am not abiding in God. I abide in God by keeping His commands. For when I am seeking Him first, I am giving praise, taking every thought captive and being selfless and patient and all the things I cannot attain on my own. Dear Reader, let us dive into this new year with a renewed focus on Christ and take to heart His promise that when we are faithful in seeking, He is faithful in leading us.