What a blessing it was to see at this precious girl. God is so good! Her face was a peek into God's heart. For two wonderful months she seemed to be ours. Papers were submitted, rooms were cleaned, her pictures were located all over our computers. We loved her.
Complications arose. Are we willing? They asked us. Are you willing? God asked us. Are we willing? We asked ourselves. Yes, yes, yes - yes Lord, we are willing!
When push came to shove, God made His will abundantly clear. Just as we'd ask. One of the more difficult prayers He has answered. Not this time came His steady voice. She was not to be ours. She went to another family - one that could provide for her in ways we could not. We knew this was right and supernatural peace filled us about the decision. We knew it was from God. It was good. God was still good.
But the closet was clean and empty. Papers strewn around the desk spoke a different story than when they were feverishly filled out weeks before. Her pictures still stared at us from the computer. We still loved her.
How can you miss someone so much that you haven't even met?
How can it be so hard to return to a normal existence before a schedule was actually disrupted?
We truly had been willing. Had God asked us to complete the adoption within the hour we would have done so joyfully. He knew we were willing and sometimes all He requires is our willingness. Sometimes all He requires is for us to open our hands and be ready to receive all that He has in store. And we have. And next time when He asks us to finish the adoption process we will gladly - with smiles - open our hands to receive what God chooses to give us.
God is asking us not to open our hands merely at these moments of decisions. He is calling us to live a lifestyle of surrender - of living with our hands unclenched and our palms facing upward, smiling at the future and happily vulnerable to the next adventure. We are to trust even when we can only see a little of what lies ahead. We are to rest in God even if we can't see anything ahead.
I have not lost a little sister in this experience. Rather, I have recognized one that I already had. God feels so much more strongly about this wonderful little girl than I do. He calls each of us to love each orphan, each child with this relentless love that knows no bounds. This love is not determined by distance, ethnicity or language. This love is unquenchable and is the epitome of vulnerability. How much our Father desires to pour this love - His love - through His people. Looking in my sister's face was truly like staring at the Kingdom of God. Father, may we see each of Your children this way - would we always be looking for and interceding for the Kingdom. Jesus calls us to live lifestyles with open hands, ready to receive whatever He has for the Kingdom's sake, for His Father's glorify, and He asks us readers, are we willing?
"By this everyone will know that you are My disciples, if you love one another" ~ John 13:35
"Place me like a seal over your heart, like a seal on your arm; for love is as strong as death, its jealousy unyielding as the grave. It burns like blazing fire, like a mighty flame. Many water cannot quench love; rivers cannot sweep it away" ~ Song of Songs 8:6-7
