A Smoldering Wick

It's easy for me to compare my Christian walk with others. I justify my lukewarm “Christian” actions by slapping them up against other believers who seem to have slid further downhill than I. Drastically opposite this mindset is the temptation to place myself aside great heroes of faith. This latter comparison does not last long, for it produces a quivering lip and hasty change of subject. Then follows a chiding of emotions for thinking I could ever match up to those who have graced God’s presence, such as Jesus’ twelve disciples or even non-Biblical characters like Amy Carmichael or John Hyde.

If I cannot come close to their lifestyles how far I must be from Jesus’ own life example! I dare not even venture into His presence. My filthy clothes reek of sin, my head hangs low in shame and my overall countenance is that of fear and timidity. I turn from His glorious face after receiving a hard slap of reality. How could I even imagine I can come close to living up to His standard? How could my foolish heart ever venture to hope that I would be able to be in the same room as this righteous King, much less stand at His side? I stumble through my prayers pitifully, I am often forgetful of praising and my focus is constantly pointed toward myself instead of Him or others; I am spotted and speckled with sin.

God recognizes this helpless state and blesses any who sincerely cry out to Him in anguish over their sinful condition. Psalm 145:19 says that God “will fulfill the desire of those who fear Him, He will also hear their cry and will save them”. The word “cry” is translated as a plea for help, a call of desperation. There is another word for cry that is a little different. This describes a prayer taken from the depths of ones being and is usually triggered by fear. When the disciples saw Jesus walking on the water “they were terrified…and they cried out in fear”. The same word was used by a blind man who recognized Jesus as His only hope both for his spiritual eyes and his physical ones. “Many were sternly telling him [the blind man] to be quiet, but he kept crying out all the more, “Son of David, have mercy on me!” (Mark 10:48).

This kind of cry spoken of in the Bible is not masked by pride or tinted by self-promotion. It cannot be silenced by mere men because it knows there is only one cure for its condition and will not stop until it has grasped it. It seeks the cure not until it gets tired, depressed, sad or lonely but until it finds.

The author of the book “Fresh Wind, Fresh Fire” said, “When we seek God, He will bless us. But when we stop seeking Him …all bets are off, no matter who we are”.  For all humans it is impossible to maintain this lifestyle requiring constant spiritual energy to dig deeper. We are as helpless as infants. This is when we cry out to our heavenly Father in desperation – for He is our only cure.  

Oh how I long to consistently be seeking God in all manner of living! However, my passion for God is is barely kindled and I still stand so far away from the woman He wants me to be. In His grace God has promised that in spite of my weakness, “a smoldering wick He will not snuff out” (Isaiah 42:3). 

Sin can appear to be harmless but in reality produces death. I must understand this plight I have brought upon myself  and embrace my true state of hopelessness in order to see how much I need God. Only then can I truly pray for help from the depths of my soul. Instead of dwelling in shame I need to be faithful in crying out, trusting that God alone has the power to turn my smoldering wick into a blaze fit for His Kingdom. 

You Restore My Soul

I stop. Someone is calling me.

You're speak to my heart, whispering my name so quietly that I can only hear Your precious voice when I refuse to let distractions rule my life. This gift of peace You offer me is exactly what I have been yearning for. For You know the desires of my heart and my unspoken needs.

I steal away from my endless list of what still needs to be accomplished. Perhaps it is not even what "needs" to be done but what I want or feel obligated to do. 

"My child, come....come and rest"

I follow wherever You lead me. Sometimes You call me to journey over rocky ground and other seasons You lead me by green pastures. Regardless, You always restore my soul. Today I follow you alongside still waters. 

I slide down a small hill and settle among the rocks. I am grateful for the solitude. 

A short distance in front of me the creek bubbles in merriment, 

It seems to laugh at the fast pace of all humanity, finding joy in its own daily routine. 

Surrounding me are remnants of branches. Winter has not left empty handed. As usual it has carried away all the leaves, everything green is long gone.  Even the trees looming over the brook are mere shadows of what they once were. Sighing, I roll over. Warm stones line my back. A breeze tickles my face. I glance up and see a green vine twisting up a tree. In the midst of things dead and decaying, this plant shines its face brightly, a reminder there is always growth regardless of the season. Human eyes are greatly limited to what they can and cannot see God is cultivating. There is always work being done.

Sunlight warms my face, as if God Himself is smiling down on me. By green pastures and quiet waters He has restored my soul. I know the sound of my shepherd's voice and I trust He guides me in the path of righteousness for His sake. When (not if) I face evil I will not fear, for He is with me (Psalm 24).   

A Key to Victory

It’s hard to live in a world not ruled by God. We are placed in a culture that thrives on living with the one consistency of sin. Many times when I venture out into the “real world” I feel as if I’m walking into a battle zone or fog of despair. This sounds dramatic but when faced with the reality of how things should be compared with how they are, even this description falls short. There is no question the path we are on has drastically swerved from our Creator’s intent.

Christians are supposed to stand out of this fog of sin. Yes, sometimes there will be steps backward, but they are to be moving consistently toward God. When I look around, this is not so. A vicious truth that continues to slap me in the face is that I have more faith in the power of sin than the power of God.  I am far more likely to have faith I will repeat a sin within the hour than that God will answer my prayers or keep His promises. This binds me to a lifestyle unable to claim victory over sin. Used to sin I expect it at every corner. I am not surprised to see it rear its ugly head anymore - it has become a fixed feature in my life. Of course the end result of this battle with sin must be defeat, for it always is. It cannot be any different...

Or can it? 

Confused at the discrepancy between the Bible's talk of victory over sin and my own lifestyle of continual failure, I glance around. Is anyone else living this life the Bible proclaims Christians have access to? I look again, what do I see? Christians, including myself, living defeated lives. Is it even possible to live otherwise?

Then again...perhaps the question is not, what do I see? but what do I know?

I know my God is greater and more powerful than sin. I know that through Him I have access to the same power. There is victory r on the other side of the door of which I have been given the key.

But this is different than what I see…

God knows this. That is why He has called us to “walk by faith and not by sight” (2 Corinthians 5:7). I take the Bible as fact and choose to believe that over my experience. Through Christ we all have been given the key. Let us not hold it feebly in our hands. Let us not slump in our cells, pondering why we are still in prison though we have been rescued. Let us stop looking at others, ourselves and everything but God and His word. Let us not use our physical eyes to determine what is fact and what is fiction! If you have the key,  pick it up. Unlock the door. Take a step. 

The result? 

Victory. 

Consistency.
Freedom from sin.